


Addictions and Obsessions

by RosevalleyNB



Series: Addictions & Obsessions [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Addictive Behaviour, Bad Romance, F/M, No War AU, Non-Canon Relationship, Obsessive Behavior, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-04-05 16:18:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4186542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosevalleyNB/pseuds/RosevalleyNB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was still the same: an addiction. An all-consuming bad habit.<br/>And whereas he had stayed the same, she had not. But the most important of all, the new Alicia refused to get hooked on Terence Higgs again.</p>
<p>Or so she said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Addicted

**Author's Note:**

> Usual disclaimers apply. Anything recognisable belongs to their rightful owner. JK Rowling created these characters, I make them do grown-up stuff.

A soft, muffled moan escaped her as she climbed to new heights in never-ending waves of pleasure. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Alicia knew that she should have resisted, should have put more of a fight to avoid the temptation. She could control herself, had proven already that she could. For a more than a year, she had been clean. For more than a year, she had managed to bury her cravings. And now, in the span of less than an hour, she was back to where she had left off. Addicted.

 

To be able to keep the cork firmly in its bottle proved more difficult when the lure dangled right in her face, she learnt. Just earlier in the day, she had thought that she would be able to resist. Merlin, she had even laughed away the warnings whispered in her ear. And the sad part of it all, she had firmly believed that resisting would be easy. There would not have been a greater satisfaction than to show that she could keep her hunger inside when it mattered. After all, she had promised herself to enjoy the moments of intense highs on her own terms. Not her addictions'. Not anymore.

 

Still, her she was now, her back shoved unceremoniously against the wall, eyes to the heavens while with every sharp thrust soft moans and gasps filled the room. She had fallen again, fallen hard and deep into the dark abyss of fleeting pleasure. From subdued to insatiable within such a short period. Regret would come later, she knew. It always did, made her feel dirty and worthless. For now, she couldn't find the will to care.

 

His hands supported her weight, clutched her arse beneath her hiked skirt. Her knickers were long since torn and flung across the room that they'd burst into. They had been eager to feel and taste each other after such a long time apart. Once again, their hunger had taken over, reduced them to nothing more than attention starved animals. Hands roamed impatiently across clothes, sought skin before crashing against the far wall in their duel of who could pour the most fury and demand in their kiss.

 

Dull thumps from the music below were a gentle reminder that they were on borrowed time. At any moment, any of the other wedding guests might throw open the door and expose her weakness. She shivered at the thought. The possibility of exposure suddenly felt risky. Dangerous, yet utterly thrilling. Everything with him was.

 

She tightened her legs around his hips and brought him closer in her need, his belt buckle felt cold and painful against her inner thigh. The shift of weight permitted him to push deeper inside her, gave him the opportunity to latch onto the sensitive skin of her throat. Light stubble scuffed her tender flesh as he feasted on her.

 

The raw energy between them was overwhelming, always had been. For as long as she could remember, he had been there: waiting, watching and luring her in whenever he needed her. He had never been ready or willing to offer her what she needed, what she craved. Wasn't that the reason she had left all those month ago? So, why was she here now?

 

She used to lie to herself that she hated him. She always had, she had tried to convince herself numerous times over the years. She hated the way he made her feel, hated his ability to turn her from a confident young woman to nothing more than a whimpering pile of human in his arms. She hated how he had never given her chance to experience the world and see what it could have offered her. She hated how she had never given herself a chance to do so in her never-ending fixation on him.

 

Just one glance at him still made her stomach do multiple flips, and her cheeks turn a deep shade of red. He had always known exactly how much control he had over her; he knew how to manipulate and get what he wanted from her. Over the years, she had told herself to end it, end the way he destroyed her self-confidence each time he simply left with nothing more than a cheeky 'thanks' after she had given her all to him. Time and time again, she had talked herself out of ending things, deluded herself that he would change. The truth was that the fear of losing him had kept her paralysed when it came down to it, even when the only commitment he had wanted to make was an occasional shag when it suited him.

 

Always when it suited him, and that's why she hated him. But still, the love she felt for him was so much stronger than the hate. It was her love for him that made her lose sight of what was right for her and tricked her into choosing what felt good.

 

She knew that now. He would always be her weakness. His scent, the way he held her, the way he spoke her name; he would always be her addiction, the weakness that could bring her to her knees.

 

From the moment he sat down next to her for dinner earlier, she had silently encouraged herself to stay strong. Seeing each other after such a long time had been uncomfortable, and even when he was so close now, she wouldn't know what to say to him when they were done. Then again, just being in his arms meant so much more than words could express.

 

He was still as handsome as the last time she had seen him: the night she had left his flat crying after meeting his new girlfriend. The ultimatum she had wanted to give him that night had blown up in her face. All during dinner, she had forced herself to ignore him as much as he ignored her. Her eyes had scanned the crowd for that auburn-haired beauty he had been with more than a year ago. The relief she had felt at her absence had caused the first crack in her determination.

 

The second crack had appeared when he had possessively laid his hand on her thigh under the table when George Weasley had started talking to her. The cracks had grown larger with each inch his hand had crept higher, taunting her to do something about it. She should have pushed him off instead of covering his hand with hers. She knew that she had passed on the opportunity to show to him how much stronger she had become when she entwined her fingers with his.

 

And now, she struggled to keep quiet out of necessity as low mewls from her mouth spilt into the dim room. She wanted to cry out in ecstasy, to scream the fucking place down. Instead, her hands clutched the back of his shirt to urge him to go faster.

 

Every time he buried his cock to the hilt inside her, she shuddered in ecstasy. She remembered that this was what it felt like to be alive. Her heart swelled with the love she felt for him, making it race as he selfishly took what he needed from her without regard for the unfamiliar surroundings. But then again, so was she. This would be the last time. To unlearn, she promised herself. She couldn't allow this to become a habit again. Not when she had someone waiting for her at home.

 

For now, though, she enjoyed herself. Nothing could beat the high he could offer her. No music, no food could top the feeling of being in his arms again, feeling him inside her. Her high reached new levels as he started rubbing her clit. His thrusts became more urgent, rougher as he, too, neared his peak. No longer he kept his voice down, panting and groaning her name as a fire raged between them. His fingers dug deeper into the flesh of her arse as he started to lose control. They had done this often enough times to know that she would have bruises in the morning.

 

Her feet locked together, and her thighs squeezed around him as her inner muscles rippled to draw more of his savagery inside. His hot breath invaded her ear, whispering filthy things like he always had done, debasing and praising her within the same sentence. The limits she had imposed on her body for more than a year had disappeared and a base desire to test them, to push, to explore her sexuality beyond the acceptable took over.

 

In the distance, as if they belonged to someone else, explosions began. She had expected it to happen, but it still didn't stop her from gasping. It left her frozen for an instant on his throbbing cock. Wave after wave rushed over her as she threw her head back in a guttural groan, making everything clear and indistinct at the same time. Stars erupted behind her closed eyes, making her dizzy with pleasure. Time seemed the slow down for the briefest of moments, right before a white heat spilt into her soaked cunt and a series of deep spasms took hold.

 

She milked him for all it was worth, panted his name in an incantation only she knew the effect of. The sound of his groans was her reward for a job well done. Their world had collided and fused again, for better or worse. The sweet high of release only he could bring her overwhelmed her body, reminded her of what she had missed for so long. She basked in the feeling, the feeling of being utterly spent and satisfied, wanting to hold on to the feeling and him. For as long it would last.

 

His harsh breaths against her overheated skin made her shiver. Her fingers entwined in his blond hair, and she pulled his head back to kiss him. He turned away without looking at her. When he lowered her in silence, she knew their short moment of connection had ended. He placed a small kiss on her damp forehead as he slid out of her. The loss of their link left her bereft and empty. She recognised the early symptoms of withdrawal and wished she could hold on to him longer.

 

She turned her back to him, refusing to allow him to see the hurt on her face, and busied herself with looking representable again. Her legs felt wobbly, and a heavy feeling filled her chest as she smoothed out her clothes. From behind her, she heard Terence buckle his trousers as he softly chuckled. Her cheeks heated up again, not in arousal or climax this time. Now that her high was slowly fading away, shame and self-loathing took over. She had done it again; she had given into her addiction and set herself up for heartbreak.

 

She should never have come here, she realised; she should have stayed hidden away in France. At least there, she had been at peace with how her life had turned out. At least in France, there was no Terence Higgs to rob her from the last sense of pride and self-worth she had left.

 

Arms encircling her waist startled her. His hands crept up and cupped her breasts over her blouse, squeezing them softly. The feather-light of kisses he trailed on her neck left her with goose bumps on her skin. Not even minutes ago, he had held her more intimate than this, but now it felt too wrong.

 

"I've missed this, Spinnet. We should do it again soon," he whispered in her ear and gently squeezed her breasts again before she stepped away from his arms.

 

"I don't think so," she whispered barely audible. She wasn't even sure if she had said it aloud.

 

"Clean yourself up. I'll see you downstairs in a few. People might get the wrong idea if we both stay away too long or come back in together. They're already talking about you as it is."

 

"Yeah,' she said as she fidgeted with the hem of her blouse. Her brows furrowed in a deep frown in an attempt to conceal her tear-filled eyes, 'the wrong idea. We wouldn't want that."

 

"Spinnet," he warned and ran his hand through his hair in frustration when she didn't respond. "Don't ruin-"

 

The words he spoke after that didn't register with her, the blood drumming in her ear drowned out his voice. She didn't turn around when he said her name and brusquely shrugged off his hand when he touched her. She refused to show him her sadness, refused to look at him.

 

Seeing the smug grin on his face would shatter her last piece of sanity. She knew it was there; it had always been there. His grin had always made her feel like an idiot when he left her after he had got his fill and sobriety took over. His smug grin had her made her promise herself repeatedly that she wouldn't do this again. In the end, his bright smile and tender touch had kept luring her back in.

 

She waited until he left the room before she let out a deep breath. She had nearly fooled herself into thinking that he had missed her. How naïve had she been to think otherwise? If there were a kingdom of stupid, lovesick fools, they would probably crown her as their queen.

 

Alicia gave herself a few minutes to poise herself before she re-joined the wedding downstairs. She would plaster a smile on her face and enjoy herself, pretend to be the same girl she had been a year ago instead of the woman she had become. She had her fix, had given into her addiction, they wouldn't be that far off.

 

Squaring her shoulders, she encouraged herself that she could make it through the night without giving into temptation again. When she left the room with her ripped knickers in her pocket, there was no trace of her indiscretion left in there, save for the heady smell of sex.

 

As she descended the stairs to re-join the party downstairs, wetness drizzled slowly down her thigh, a souvenir of her decadence. As she danced the night away with the few friends she had left, a part of her wondered what they would think if they were to notice the glistening trail down her leg. Would they connect the dots of her earlier absence with her flushed face? Could they smell him on her?

 

She could smell him on her skin, on her clothes. She tingled on the inside each time she locked eyes with Terence, who was watching her every move from the other side of the room. His burning gaze made her feel self-conscious, stopped herself from enjoying the evening as she had planned. There was something there in those piercing blue eyes, something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

 

She lasted an hour under his scrutiny before it all became too much, and she hastily said goodbye to the newlywed Katie and Marcus with promises to meet up after their honeymoon. As one of the elves led her to a free Floo-connection, she dared to look back for the last time. Terence caught her eye, and he raised his glass with a bright smile. On cue, her step faltered and she briefly debated whether to stay a little longer or not.

 

He was an addiction, an all-consuming bad habit, she reminded herself and looked away. Her stomach churned at the thought of quitting him again after the small taste she had. However, she couldn't allow herself to trail down that road once more. Not when someone was waiting for her to come home.

 

She had changed, had grown up and aside from her slip up, she strived to lead an exemplary life. And most important of all, the new Alicia refused to get hooked on Terence Higgs yet again.


	2. Obsessed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does Terence have to say?

 

 

With clenched jaws, Terence watched her laugh and joke with one of those identical ginger idiots, the one she had attempted dating at Hogwarts before he had intervened. With an all-consuming rage, he looked on as that Jordan fellow wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek. He was ready to burst when Wood pulled her on the dance floor for a slow dance and kept whispering in her ear.

 

But what angered him the most was that she went back to ignoring him. Would any of those blokes want her if they'd know that not even hour ago, he had her impaled on his cock, screaming out his name? He had done it once, when she had latched onto one of those Weasley pricks, and if she pushed him hard enough, he would do it again. Whether she liked or not, she was his. He had already missed her in his life the last year; he wasn't about to tolerate another game of hide and seek.

 

From the first moment, he had noticed Alicia as anything other than the loudmouthed daughter of his parents' best friends, she had become his obsession. Just fourteen years old she had been, all knees and elbows, when he had watched with interest when she had come to stay with his family for the remainder of the summer. With her long dark hair and equally dark, captivating eyes she had stirred something inside his seventeen-year-old self. He had worked hard on winning her over that warm summer, teaching her what he expected from her.

 

He scoffed as he remembered the day his obsession with her had begun. That was she was to him; a maddening, all-consuming fascination he had wanted, and still wanted to decipher. He wanted to break her down and build her up again, just to find out what made her so special. He wasn't sure what is was about her that made him want to push her away and lure her back in, what it was that made him want to punish her for dominating his mind night and day. It had to be her; it couldn't be him.

 

He brought his drink to his mouth; he could still smell her on his fingers. Merlin, he wanted her again. Right then, she looked in his direction, trying hard to pretend it was just coincidence. She would never admit it, but he was sure that the same thought must have crossed her mind. He grinned and held his glass up in cheers. The way her cheeks flushed made his cock twitch. The way she looked away, not showing any recognition, fuelled the already burning anger only more.

 

Did she not understand how dangerous his lust for her was? She was his obsession; his biggest fantasy come true. He wasn't about to let her get away again, did she not understand that? His craving for her was as necessary to him as breathing air. She was the substance that drove his passion and he wanted to consume every single part of her. She was his, and it was about time she came to accept that.

 

His glass cracked in his hand when he replayed how she had brushed him off earlier when he had wanted to make plans. He was sure that she hadn't even been listening to a word he had said to her.

 

Weasley whispered something in her ear. From the way she briefly jerked her shoulders, Terence was sure that whatever the orange git said to her, gave her goose bumps. Is that why she had ran? Had she taken it up with him again? Why did she have to push him like this? Hadn't she learnt her lesson all those years ago, when she had had dared to kiss one of those Weasleys in front of him?

 

He could still feel how her silky hair had wrapped around his hand, still remembered how tight she had been when he had taken her up against the wall in an empty corridor. The sight of her hiked up skirt, exposing her knickers-clad arse was etched into his memory forever. When he closed his eyes, he could still see himself push the flimsy fabric aside and plunge in without warning, without properly preparing her virginal cunt. Her moans, a mixture of pain and pleasure, still filled his ears.

 

He hadn't cared that she had been barely fifteen or had cried when he had finished and walked away without looking back. The only thing he had cared about was Weasley 'accidentally' stumbling upon them, thanks to Flint. That had been his main goal, breaking them up and make her pay in the process. He had been successful in both.

 

She had never strayed from him again since then. Until a year ago that is. All because of a simple misunderstanding.

 

"You're mine, Spinnet," Terence muttered angrily and finished his drink before stalked after her. It looked like his little Ally needed a lesson or two. When he was finished with her, she'd remember to whom she belonged.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I seemed to have hit a block with my KB/MF stories, I'm toying with the idea of writing about the beginning of this Terence and Alicia.


	3. Failed Intervention

Terence blew out a perfect 'o' shaped smoke ring and watched circle up high above him until it dissolved into a blueish hue that was slowly taking over the grand study. Across from him, between taking sips from his Firewhisky and drags from his thick cigar, Marcus Flint kept on chattering about his honeymoon. With gritted teeth, but still like a good friend, Terence pretended to listen to his friend’s ravings about how beautiful the Maldives were this time of year. In reality, he couldn’t care less about it. All he wanted to know was how long before the wedding Spinnet had returned and why his ‘friend’ had forgotten to mention that little titbit to him.

 

His hand tightened around his glass in frustration as Marcus babbled on. It had been six weeks since he had last seen and held her, and more than a year before that. Six maddening weeks had passed in which he had learnt nothing more than she had moved back in with her parents. She only left the house for errands, always her father or her mother by her side. No one who knew her could or would tell him anything else; his letters to her returned unopened, and her friends avoided him like the Dragon Pox. He couldn’t blame his parents for keeping him in the dark, either.

 

Without giving any explanation, the Spinnets had cut off contact with his parents a few weeks after Alicia had fallen off the grid. Merlin, his parents were still distraught over losing a lifelong friendship for seemingly no reason. Terence knew the reason, of course. It was clear as day; Alicia must have tattled to her parents about him, about them, before or during her little vacation overseas. The only thing he didn’t understand why it had taken her so long to tell them anything at all.

 

_‘You told her not to.’_

 

Terence scowled at the intrusive thought. They had been nothing more than dumb kids when he had insisted on that. At least, that was what he kept telling himself. 

 

But what stung most was that Marcus had lied to his face. From the moment Alicia had run away like a coward, he had insisted that he didn’t know anything. He had sworn that Katie had refused to tell him anything about Alicia’s whereabouts. Foolishly, it had never crossed Terence’s mind that his friend would lie to him.

 

Marcus was right in the middle of bemoaning the Muggle diving equipment -leave it to Bell to turn even their honeymoon into a Muggle experience- when Terence had enough. He tossed the still lit stump of his cigar into the ashtray and summoned the bottle of Ogden’s for a refill. Ice cubes rattled and bumped against the tip of his nose and teeth as he took a big gulp to settle his raging emotions. As the tingling warmth spread through his body, he finally asked the question he had meant to ask for weeks, “When were you going to tell me that Spinnet had come back home?”

 

Marcus avoided eye contact and sipped his drink to delay answering. He refused to get in the middle of this mess. He always had, and he would be damned if they dragged him in now after seven years of peace. After a short silence, he tentatively began his tale about those hilarious Muggles and their strange contraptions. “Can you believe they wanted us to get a licen-”

 

“Fuck those Muggles, Flint,” Terence cut him off again with barely contained anger. “How long has she been back?”

 

“I don’t know and don’t care.” Marcus shrugged, a sheepish smile hinting at the corners of his mouth. He took another sip of his Firewhisky and relit his cigar, silently hoping that he could go back to tell about his honeymoon. When Terence repeated his question, more tersely than before, he let out a world-weary sigh. “I dunno, before the wedding, I guess. I didn’t even know she was coming. Katie didn’t tell me anything, still hasn’t.”

 

“You used to be such a good liar.” Terence tutted in fake disappointment. “You need to be more convincing if you want to make me believe that Bell didn’t tell you that her little friend would be there.”

 

“Hey, her name is Flint now-” Marcus started. However, someone slamming the door open interrupted his intended lecture on how he refused to get in the middle of the mess Terence had created all by and for himself.

 

In a flurry of long dark hair, colourful robes, and flowery perfume, the brand new Mrs Flint bustled into the room. Without a single glance in Terence’s direction, she darted over to her husband, practically jumping onto his lap. She threw her arm around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss deep enough to make Terence uncomfortable. There were certain things he’d have been more than happy not to see within his lifetime; Bell and Flint getting off in front of him would be one of them.

 

“I’m heading out,” Katie said when she finally broke away. Her carefully applied lipstick had smeared around her and Marcus’ lips. “The boys and Angie are already waiting for me at the Imp. Oh, I can hardly wait to see Ally and that Adam bloke she’s been raving about. He sounds like a keeper from what she told, don’t you think? You should come with me, tell that wanker something has come up,” she tittered on without taking a breath as she rubbed the red smudges off his face.

 

“Yeah, about that.”  Marcus smiled as he pointed in Terence’s direction. “We have company, love; the wanker's already here.”

 

“Hullo, Bell, good to know you think so highly of me.” Terence chuckled and lifted his glass in greeting. The blushing bride -although, he couldn’t remember ever seeing her blush- crinkled her nose in disgust and fixed him a hard glare. After all these years, she still hadn’t warmed up to him. Then again, the feeling was more than mutual.

 

“Higgs, you’re still breathing, I see,” Katie quipped as she climbed off her husband’s lap to right herself. “You ought to go flying in the middle of a storm. Maybe a lightning bolt or two can remedy that unfortunate fact.”

 

“Love, don’t,” Marcus muttered as he pulled at her robe and shook his head. There was a time and place for these kinds of things, preferably when he wasn’t in the room. “Just go. I’ll see you tonight at your parents’, yeah?”

 

“Ever thought about a career change, Bell? You’d do well as a real life harpy. You know, instead sitting on the reserve bench pretending to be one.” Terence laughed at the reddening of her cheeks in anger and the fire in her eyes. Why anyone would say that she was a sweet girl, was beyond him. She could cut through glass with that tongue of hers. Those two had found each other, all right.

 

“Why you-” She stopped what she wanted to say and turned to her husband. “Aren’t you going to stick up for me?”

 

“You’re capable of kicking his arse on your own, love. You don’t need me,” he placated her. When she turned her to face Terence again, he raised his brows and held up his fist in warning at his friend.

 

“You damn right I can, and one of these days I will.” Katie jutted her nose in the air as she haughtily stared down on Terence, her lips curled up in disdain. When she was sure that he’d gotten her message, he just rolled his eyes, she turned to Marcus again. Her sour expression morphed to one of love and adoration as she kissed him goodbye. “I need to go. I’ll see you tonight; don’t forget to bring the wine and be nice about Mum's new perm.”

 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” With his fists on the armrests, clenching and unclenching to keep his temper in check, Terence watched Katie leave in the same flurry as she came in with and closed the door with a loud bang. “Really, Flint, you don’t know anything, eh?” he asked after a while.

 

Marcus let out another tortured breath as he topped their glasses. Just in case Katie wouldn't think about going to another pub, getting Higgs shitfaced was the only way to keep him from going after Spinnet and her new lover. “Katie told me the day before the wedding that Spinnet was back, and that she wasn't alone. She gave me two choices. Or I could tell you so you could go after the chit and do something stupid that’d put you in Azkaban and have a sexless honeymoon myself. Or, I’d keep my gob shut and be on the receiving end of what a very eager new bride has to offer. Sorry, but no brainer there, mate. I’ve waited seven years, you understand. Was worth the trade-off,” he trailed off, nodding in contentment.

 

“France…” Terence scoffed. And here he was, thinking that she’d spent her time in Brussels. He downed his drink and held his glass out for another refill. Had she intentionally put him on the wrong trail? “How long?”

 

“How long what?”

 

“How long has she been back?”

 

“Don’t know, didn't think to ask.”

 

“Who’s Adam?”

 

Even though he could have lied, Marcus decided that perhaps he ought to be honest in answering this one. It would better for Terence to hear it from him than someone on the streets. “Some bloke she dug up Paris. Spinnet went on and on about him at the reception. The way she talked about him, you'd think that she found herself a real-life Prince Charming or something.” He took a long drag from his cigar, trying to find the words for what he was about to say next. “Look, Ter, I’ve seen you two slip out the room that night, I’m not as dumb as I look, and you two are certainly not sneaky enough. But I think it was a slip up from her end. I mean, she’s introducing the sod to her friends today; he must be more than a passing fancy.”

 

"Don't... Don't say that. She wouldn't." Terence wanted him to shut up, stop lying. Alicia was his; she had been for years, and he didn't share his toys, ever. She ought to know that by now.

 

Marcus offered him an apologetic smile. “She’s done, Ter. You’ve treated your house elves better than you’ve treated her; you didn’t think that she’d be fed up one day? That she’d find someone better. Leave her alone and move on, she has.”

 

Terence didn’t respond, only stared at the glass in his hand. To an outsider, he probably looked guilty, self-reflective even. Marcus knew better, though, and was glad that he had stocked up on the Ogden’s Finest. Higgs wore that same thoughtful look on his face he had worn each time Spinnet had slipped out of his grasp in the past, which hadn’t been often or for too long. And the few times she had, he had managed to wheel her back in without much effort. Whomever this Adam bloke was, Marcus hoped that the poor sod was prepared to take on Terence Higgs.

 

* * *

Whereas Marcus tried his best to keep Terence from bolting out the door, Katie had moved the small reunion party to the Leaky Cauldron. She briefly explained to Angie what had happened earlier, only telling the twins and Oliver that the pub seemed more appropriate for their little get-together. A Floo-call to the Spinnet house later, she settled back in her chair and waited with barely constrained excitement for Alicia and her new lover to arrive. Whilst Oliver discussed the latest development at Puddlemere with Angie and Fred, she kept her attention on the door, adamant to be the first one to lay eyes on this Adam fellow.

 

She had no reason to doubt Alicia’s praises of him at the wedding, and anyone would be a better match than that arse, Higgs. It had been great to see her so excited about a man. But most of all, it had been brilliant to find out that she had managed to detangle herself from Higgs and finally come to her senses. Six years and a year off the grid too late, but still, she had.

 

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” an angry voice muttered from her left.

 

“Do what, George?” Katie didn’t turn to look at him. His incessant whining was getting old as far as she was concerned. From what Angie had told her earlier, he had been excited about Alicia’s return and hoped for another chance with her, a proper one this time. Learning that she wouldn’t be alone today, had really upset him and he had almost stayed home; Katie wished that he had.

 

“This,” George hissed as he slammed his tankard on the table. “Why am I even here?”

 

“Because you’re her friend and happy to see-”

 

“I’ve waited years for her to come around and get away from that idiot,” George cut her off, “And now I have to sit here and watch her flaunt another bloke around.”

 

Katie rolled her eyes, it wasn’t the first time she heard this, leave it to George Weasley to play the martyr. “Quit your moaning. You two tried it years ago, and it didn’t work out. Get over it already.” She took a sip from her tepid tea, still watching the door. “You couldn’t even sneak in a kiss without making her sick to her stomach, so maybe it’s you.”

 

“Katie…” Angelina warned. Next to her, Oliver hid his face behind his overflowing tankard in hopes the others wouldn’t drag him into the discussion. Fred, on the other side, scooted his chair closer to his brother and put his hand on George’s shoulder to keep him calm. Alicia and their brief dating history had always been a sore subject, and whilst usually everyone danced around the matter whenever it came up, Katie had gone full Flint on George for a change.

 

“You know why it didn’t work out!” George spat back at Katie, shrugging off his brother’s hand. “Because she was too busy playing Higgs’ slag behind my back.”

 

“Cry me a river, George. It’s been years, get over it, or go home, but stop calling her a slag. You don't know what you're talking about.” Katie’s eyes lit in excitement and relief when the door opened. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with George; that was one of Ally’s talents. “Now hush, she’s here.”

 

An uncertain looking Alicia stood by the bar, scanning the crowded pub for her friends. She had her arm wrapped around who had to be Adam, whispering in his ear. Her hesitant look turned into a bright smile when she finally located the little group in the back.

 

“Oh my,” Angelina mumbled in disbelief. In reflex, she patted Oliver’s back when he started choking on his beer at seeing Alicia and her Adam.

 

“That’s not good, not good at all,” Fred mumbled. He wasn’t sure what to do, pin George to his chair or Apparate him to their flat this very instant.

 

“Shit.” Katie’s grip on her cup tightened as she let out a nervous chuckle. She didn’t know what she had expected, but this certainly wasn’t it.

 

“Brilliant, just fucking brilliant.” Unlike the others, George couldn’t stay calm and gawk at Alicia. He abruptly stood up, making his chair topple over as he did so. Hurt, betrayal, and anger flashed across his face as he turned towards Katie. “You knew,” he accused, “You knew and didn’t say a word.” When neither she nor the others reacted, he stalked away, bumping Alicia’s shoulder quite hard on his way out. He couldn’t bring himself to take a second to make sure she was all right.

 

“Did you? Know, I mean,” Angelina asked before a confused looking Alicia reached their table.

 

“No,” Katie sighed, wishing she had ordered something stronger than tea. Terence was going to go mental once he found out. “But it’s not going to end well, I know that much.”

 

Much later, as the small group warmed up to Adam and took him and Alicia back in their midst as if she hadn’t been gone for the past year, they failed to notice the blond haired man slip into the crowded pub. As he watched them from afar, his confusion turned into anger that turned into rage. Luckily, his friend, who he had managed to ditch an hour before, found him and forcibly took him home before he lost all self-control.

 

Much later, as Terence lay in his bed after a long talk with his father and Marcus, he couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. For he realised that he had her now, and this time, Alicia wouldn't be able to get away easily.


	4. Withdrawal Symptoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The musings of a recovering addict.

Rain pelted against her window in violent clashes, distorting her view of the street. Curled up in her chair and a hot mug of tea in her hands, Alicia watched the blurry scenery with unseeing eyes. It was still very early and the dark clouds made it feel earlier in the morning than it was. Not that it mattered to her. To her, it was just another dreadful morning after a night of tossing and turning around and staring at the ceiling.

 

He had invaded her dreams again last night. Memories of him always came to her late at night, when there wasn't anything or anyone to keep her occupied and sleep had deserted her. She only thought about him when she was at her weakest, which was all the time since her return.

 

Last night, for the first time in a long time, she hadn't fought the rush of memories. Perhaps, it had been the melancholia brought up by seeing her old friends yesterday and dragging up old stories about their time at Hogwarts. Whatever had caused it, she hadn't focussed on how miserable he had made feel for years as she had laid awake last night. No, foolishly enough, she had allowed herself to push the heartbreak he had caused her to the background and remembered how happy she had been with him. She had allowed herself to think about how safe and loved she had felt in his presence.

 

“Stop it,” she muttered as she rubbed her eyes. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop her mind from spinning in all directions.

 

Loved.

 

How stupid had she been back then to think that what Terence had showed her had equalled love? She let out a mirthless chuckle and shook her head in disbelief at her foolishness. Until a year ago, she had believed that. Love. She glanced at Adam again, who had started to stir, just a few heartbeats away from waking up. What she felt whenever she looked at him was real love, she knew now.

 

In the past year, he had been the one to show her the silver lining on the horizon. He had taught her that there was more to the world than Terence Higgs. His appearance in her life had turned it upside down in the best way. He had made her feel alive again.

 

She had to make it through this without falling into the same trap again. Not only for Adam, but for herself as well.

 

Only, it was so damned hard. And she had made her first mistake within days of her return. One look, one touch, and Terence had managed to break all her resolves. For a brief moment, he had made her forget the hurt he had caused her. At the end of the night, she had gone home feeling dirtier and more used than ever. However, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't blame him, could she? He hadn't forced her. A whispered 'I've missed you' had been enough to destroy all her progress.

 

Looking back on that night, Alicia found it funny how pathetically fast they had fallen back into their old routine after a year apart. As usual, he had told her to jump and she had asked how high. Or in their case, he'd say something nice and she’d drop her knickers. Had it ever been different? She couldn't remember the last time she had said 'no' and had stuck to it. The summer before her fourth year, maybe? Even then, her almost fifteen-year-old-self hadn't put up much of a fight.

 

A deeply tortured breath escaped at the memories of that summer. She had to make it through this without falling apart. Memories of how she got hooked on him in the first place, thinking about the thrill she had felt back then, did not help with that intention.

 

Sometimes, she wondered why they went with it for so long. Whatever it was they had been between them it had never worked, and probably never would. On her better days, she was strong enough to admit that he had never loved her, perhaps had never liked her even. On her better days, she knew that he had liked, maybe even loved the idea of her. But not her, never her. She had to keep repeating that to pull herself together before Adam woke up. He hated to see her sad.

 

She had to make it through this without becoming her again, the pathetic little girl without a spine.

 

Aside from Adam, she owed it to herself to become Alicia again. The world curious girl she had been before Terence had taken over. She broke out in a cold sweat at the realisation that she hadn't been that girl since her fourth year at Hogwarts. At twenty-two, she hardly remembered how her life had been before Terence.

 

Still, in the gloomy light of a day she dreaded for some reason, she had to be honest with herself. She had liked being with him, and the wedding had proved that she still loved being in his presence. Even if she felt like shit afterwards. Terence was a striking man, after all. He had that heart-stopping grin, the brightest blue eyes that just wouldn't stop looking her as if he knew something that she didn't. In their earlier years, she would get sweaty palms and a racing heartbeat by just looking at him. He had made her self-conscious, even before he had decided that she was worth some of his time. He had awed her, got her breathlessly excited each time he had paid her attention.

 

“Pathetic bint,” she scoffed as she sipped from her cold tea. It was easier to get angry with herself than with him, and that angered her even more.

 

Last year, in France, right after Adam, she had concluded that it had been the magnetism Terence had radiated. An invisible force that drawn her to him and as a result, into his world where only his rules applied. Adam had it is well, she thought wryly. However, whereas Adam was the summer storm that you would eagerly wait for to cool off, Terence was the winter storm you dreaded. The sudden darkening of the sky, the thunder and lightning breaking through the heat, the freezing raindrops that could go on for days and you wished would stop.

 

She loved storms.

 

He was wrong for her in all imaginable ways, but he had the ability to make her incredible when he wanted to. It had never been just sex for her, as it had been for him. His smile, the way his Adam’s apple would bop up and down when he laughed, those precious few times he had let his guard down and talk to her, as a friend and lover, had been enough for her to fall in love with him. The way he had made her laugh, his ceaseless efforts to cheer her up after a bad day. All those things had been sufficient to hand over herself to him without putting up a fight.

 

If she didn't make it through this, she would do it again. Her lips curled up in a soft smile at the memory of a stolen moment in Hogsmeade. The way his fingers had lightly caressed her skin, the very first he had made her feel good. Perhaps...

 

Perhaps, if she'd meet him one more time, she'd be able to get him out of her system…

 

“Alicia?”

 

The voice forcefully dragged her away from the dangerous path her mind had wandered off to. Her mother's well-coiffed head popped around the corner. She cast a concerned look at Adam's sleeping form before she turned her gaze to her daughter and stepped in, softly closing the door behind her. She was clearly nervous, wringing her hands in worry.

 

"Mum? What's wrong?"

 

Arlette Spinnet pressed her fingers against her forehead, muttering under her breath until she found the right words to say. "We should have told him. He would have never allowed this to go on for so long. Now…"

 

Alicia frowned, confused by her mother's strange behaviour. "Mum, what's going on?"

 

Arlette swallowed hard and glanced at a stirring Adam again. She looked like she was ready to cry. "Tobias and Terence are downstairs. Your father wants you to join them for breakfast."

 

Alicia felt as if she was falling through the sky. Her chest constricted and her heart began to race in panic. "Mum, no, send them away!"

 

“You’re father… They already spoke to him before I got downstairs.” Arlette shook her head, on the verge of tears. “I'm so sorry, sweetheart, but he's furious that we’ve lied to him. You have five minutes. He wants you to bring Adam with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is where this too long one-shot ends. The first few chapters of how it began, and ultimately, how it will end, are already (literally) penned down. So, after magically converting those into an electronic file thingy, I expect to have the first chapter up in the new year. 
> 
> I hope to see you there.
> 
> Until then, Happy New Year!


End file.
